Here There Everywhere | Arizona

The importance of having a sporting hero in my life, someone to admire and to emulate, became clear to me when I met Lael Wilcox. I had realized, when he was no longer there, that Stevie Smith had not only been my friend, but also, my hero. Once I acknowledged this hole in my life, I began, at first unknowingly, and then with purpose, to look for a new source of inspiration.

An obvious option lay amongst the champions of the gravity world with whom I spend a lot of time and whom I admire, love and count as dear friends. They are many people’s heroes, but at this point in my life, I need to look elsewhere for inspiration. I tried looking at other sports, but I couldn’t relate. Then I discovered, through Rapha’s YouTube channel, videos highlighting riders like Lael and Lachlan Morton.

Ultra-endurance cycling seemed like the furthest thing from racing downhill - perhaps this was their appeal. Lael’s ability to ride an unthinkable distance, sleep in a cold ditch for a few hours, get up and hammer on for another unthinkable distance while fuelled by whatever food came her way amazed me. And, initially, this, alone, was enough for me to become a fan, yet her riding world felt like one I could never enter.

After my initial admiration over her physical feats, came the realization that what I found most important about Lael is the way her personality and attitude outshine everything else. This was the connection I needed. Lael, always with a laugh or looking as if she’s about to crack a joke, showcased the adventure and beauty of the experience rather than the physical beat-down and challenge. The more I watched, the more I wanted to try for that myself.

Inspired by Lael, I’ve taken on increasingly demanding bike-packing challenges over the last three years. I’ve hallucinated in the middle of the night, falling asleep on the bike. I’ve thrown up and been trapped on a mountain side. Each experience is incredibly challenging! Planning distances, meals, water locations, and bivy stops is hard for someone who’s focus used to be on a 3-10 minute time push.  But … I like the way I have had to adapt and I wondered how to up the ante this year.

Then I thought to ask Lael if she would build me a route which I would ride ‘blind’ - ie about which I knew nothing in advance. I had only ridden planned routes before, so by removing any control in designing the route, the challenge would be much greater. I love structure and preparedness, so a situation like this would require I let go and live with what came. The beautiful thing about bike- packing is that any distance is a good distance. Could I embrace that tenet and have a similar experience to Lael? I didn’t need to ride to her capacity for the same distance or speed - I just had to try.

As a teenager I had a coach who told me constantly that I was lazy. It was played as a joke, but it has lived rent free in my mind ever since. No matter how hard I worked, it never felt enough. When I finally ‘made it’, I struggled with the concept that my racing and training was ‘enough’ to earn that lifestyle. Did I deserve this reality? I felt, always, I needed to do more. Has bike-packing and riding long distances become a way to prove that I’m not lazy? I don’t know, but I do know that pushing forward to ride for longer than I think I can, has allowed me to feel capable.

Taking on a big ride like this, I truly had no idea if I could finish it or not. Part of me believed, but another part still thought, “I’m lazy and haven’t worked hard enough”. Meeting Lael to discuss the route gave me confidence. She believed in me and that felt like enough.

I never had the opportunity to tell Stevie that he was my hero and thank him, so, here and now, I want to say “Thank-you, Lael.” Thank-you for being a hero to me, and many, many more around the world. You’ve opened up an entire new world of cycling to me, and shown that we’re all so much more capable than we believe. What an honour and privilege to have had this experience.

I hope everyone gets the chance to meet their heroes, because both Stevie and Lael have proved it to be worth it.